belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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