So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
