Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
