I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
