Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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