remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize