My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize