im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
