Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
