i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
