Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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