Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've blown a few things in my day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
