I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
me + whiskey = a bad person
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
