Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
