garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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