I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
