im drinking this country out of the recession.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I want is dick and wine.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
