She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
