Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
