i think i have herpe
just one?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
