phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
