I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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