oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
