I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
