Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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