She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
