yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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