I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
