i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My life is pants optional.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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