I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize