he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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