No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
