i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
