Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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