Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
