I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
