i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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