remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
