So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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