If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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