why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
