she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I love you.
Bad choice
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