...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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