i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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