She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
