i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You pole danced in your parka.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
