Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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