He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
