You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
