even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
