Your dad touched me again.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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