i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
