i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
