Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
