know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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