i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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