I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
