the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
