the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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